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The biker kept rubbing softly my delicate parts while I just stood motionless in front of my room door with the grocery bags on my hands. He continued his very improper frisk session of me perhaps for a good minute. But his fondling felt so good. My eagerness only kept growing. By instinct, I closed my eyes, and allowed my body to lean on his. My head tilted and landed on his shoulder. Noticing that I was obviously not posing any resistance, my new friend began sneaking his left hand through the rear part of the waist of my pants until it was firmly planted on my right ass cheek. He squeezed it hard.I should have been scared. And I was. I felt it was all happening so fast. I had somewhat forgotten how good it felt to be completely objectified by a stranger; a male stranger. I did not move my body, except to turn my face towards his. With certain subtlety, I moistened my lips.“You like this, doncha?” The biker whispered swiftly in my ear. “Yes” was all that I could. But then I started thinking, and realized that for her to know, Ruth must have told her. And by told her, I mean the whole, sordid mess. Otherwise Lori would wonder why Ruth fell asleep on the phone with me, a guy who was not her “boyfriend” and for whom she had no feelings other than that of friendship. That gave me hope. It made me realize that Ruth really did care about where our relationship was at present, and where it was headed. It told me also that she was not capable of seeing me in the role of “boyfriend.” In order for me to be her boyfriend meant terminating the special friendship we had, at least in her mind. She couldn’t bear to lose me as a friend. That’s what she eventually told me, when I finally summoned up the courage to tell her outright that I loved her. Over the decades since, I’ve gone over our strange relationship in my mind thousands of times, trying to figure out just what was really going on. If I’d become a psychiatrist, maybe I’d have a chance at coming to.
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